I know Seacrest as someone who does the Oscars red-carpet coverage for E! and being sent up on BoJack Horseman, but he has writing credits on the show, and it is still a bone of contention between the now-divorced Kris and Caitlyn as to who brought the original idea to him. Keeping Up with the Kardashians was helped into being by Ryan Seacrest. It does not seem to have the wryness of a predecessor, The Simple Life, which I caught reruns of in the night and which Nicole Richie’s droll wit made bearable (she is, at a guess, five times smarter than Paris Hilton). I am all for the voyeurism of rich people’s lives – I lusted over the fictional Cohens’ pool house in The OC for many years – but this show is not endearing itself to me. More concerning is one of the young half-siblings – aged about 10 or so – I can’t recall which one it is – dancing on a “stripper pole” Kim has bought for her mother’s anniversary present, which, in itself, is Quite Weird. Why did Kim make it? “Because I was horny and I felt like it” – which, quite frankly, is a brilliant answer. The first we see of Kris is when she explains that, as a mother, she wasn’t happy with Kim’s leaked sex tape, but as a manager, it is pretty advantageous. The store the sisters run is: “a place where we get to catch up and relax and gossip”, which doesn’t seem the best route to a viable business, but given this is a family of now-millionaires (and, ostensibly, in Kylie’s case, one billionaire) I am going to keep my mouth shut. Introducing themselves, Kourtney announces: “I’m the oldest, and the most mature.” Well … yes.
It looks as though it were shot in the early 1900s (film quality-wise, I mean – the clothes are very clearly late-00s halter necks and chrome minidresses).
This is 22 minutes long but feels much longer. So, to begin at the beginning, as Lewis Carroll put it: the pilot episode. Kendall, whose name will always evoke mint cake, I know is friends with Cara Delevingne, but I could not distinguish between her and who I have learned is the youngest one. Rob is named after his father, Kris’s first husband the late lawyer who was famous for defending OJ Simpson. Think of Rob as the Jim Corr, or Korr, of the gang. I did not know there was a male sibling, Rob. I was aware that all the sisters have names beginning with K, as though the registrar who did the birth certificates had a keyboard with a missing letter C.
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